Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
