Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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