but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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