i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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