physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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