I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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