guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
