it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
