dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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