So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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