On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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