She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
