The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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