hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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