Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
