My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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