pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
