I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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