I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
