I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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