they need to just BURY HIM!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
