I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
