At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
