Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
