Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
