she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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