I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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