At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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