I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
