how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize