She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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