you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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