Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
