I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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