considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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