Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
