we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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