I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
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I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tequila makes me forget i have legs
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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