At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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