If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
