It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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