oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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