Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
