he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.