I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs