he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".