i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.