Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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