dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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