you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
