Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
