I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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