i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
