every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize