Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
