i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many feelings about this burrito
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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