Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
